A Class By Himself 5
As I look over at Tanner sitting next to me on the bus every morning, the urge to kiss him passionately on the lips never leaves me. How a love like this can only continue to increase in its intensity is a complete mystery to me. He talks to me the entire way there, and the entire way back, his voice that wonderful pitch of teen excitement. About this and that and every topic under the sun, and I know I'm talking back to him the whole time, but it doesn't even seem like me. I feel as though I'm watching myself have this foreign conversation with the most beautiful boy on Earth from the outside. Because all I can see when I look at him is never ending love. It takes over all of my senses and lulls me into a deep dreamy trance that I can't break out of, nor do I want to. I'm never really paying attention to what he's talking about, and yet, for some reason, I hear every word. I'm almost self conscious about it, wondering if I could possibly make him feel the same way. It seems like there's no way for me to EVER evoke this kind of emotion from another person with the little gifts that I have to offer him. But it's those times, those precious little moments, when Tanner realizes that I'm staring, when he's silent, and returns my passionate gaze with a heart melting stare of his own...that makes me feel like I'm worth it. Worth his time, worth his love, worth his attention. How can a love so perfect, be so effortless?
I always hated seeing him get off the bus in the afternoons, because I'd be alone the rest of the way home. Every tick of the clock without him next to me was just meaningless sometimes. I wouldn't call it depression so much, just an eternal longing to be near him again. I'd almost be willing to drop out of school just for the chance to spend every day by his side. Sorry, but I guess even in my head I tend to gush over him quite a bit. It's hard to imagine what my mind would do with itself if it wasn't filled with thoughts of the light brown waves of his soft flowing hair. Or the beauty of his big brown eyes. Or the sleek curves of his hips, the texture of his tender lips, the smooth silky feel of his skin as it brushed up against mine. Even a handshake was enough to get me erect. There I go again...it's a good thing I don't say these things out loud. The men in white would have surely locked me up by now.
I got home to see a note from my mom saying she would be working for somebody tonight, and it was just as well. I was being all high and dreamy anyway. Geez, I had gotten exceptionally bad since our Valentine's day date. But that was so memorable, so awesomely incredible, so meaningful to me in every way, that my hazy mood was more than justified. I grabbed some of the 'diner food' my mom brought home the night before and warmed it up in the oven. I sat in front of the TV, and tried to focus on whatever brain dead sitcom happened to be on at the time. But it didn't work. My heart was bursting...flowing over with a joy that I just couldn't explain. I kept looking over at the phone, wondering what Tanner was doing at that exact moment. Was he thinking about me? I wonder if I should call. Nah, he just saw me not more than a half hour ago, don't want him to think I'm weird or anything. So I tried once again to watch TV, flipping from channel to channel, hoping to find some wacky movie that would keep me occupied until it was time for me to go to sleep. Then sleep would keep my mind clear until morning, and by that time I wouldn't have long until I got the chance to see Tanner again. But again, nothing helped. I looked over at the phone again and again, the anticipation making my fingers twitch and my heart beat abnormally fast. What the heck was the matter with me? I mean nobody could be together ALL the time, right? It was impossible. I imagine we'd get sick of each other eventually. But something deep down inside made me want to die trying to do just that, be near him at all times, begging for more of his love. Finally, without an ounce more of will power left in my body, I gave in to temptation and grabbed the phone. But before I could pick up the receiver, it rang.
"Hello?" I said.
"Um...hey...hehehe." It was Tanner! I think he was a bit surprised that I picked it up so fast, and he sounded kind of weird at first.
"Tanner...wow...hi..."
"I know I just talked to you and all...but I was thinking about you and...well I just figured..." As those words left his mouth, I got weak in the knees and slid off of the couch onto the floor. I was breathless, my heart beating so hard that it literally tickled me into a fit of silent giggles. He was thinking about me...ME! Oh God this was sooo strange. This feeling of...of...uncontrollable...'something' that just made me want to tear up and just explode from sheer joy building up inside. The heavy feeling in my chest was almost painful as he continued to talk to me, and whenever I spoke to him, I had to try hard to control the trembling in my stomach so it wouldn't come out in my voice. He was actually a bit shaky himself o the phone, like maybe he felt the same way, and that only made me even happier. His voice was just so heavenly, a lustful haze that was always present, but unintended. He was so amazing and sexy that he simply couldn't contain it, not even in the most mundane of conversations. He kept me up half the night talking, and when it was time to go, we talked for a half hour more. An entire half hour of goodbyes. It doesn't get any better than this.
The next day I woke up anxious for another taste of my sweet Tanner. Funny how all I have to do is open my eyes, and he's the first thing that hits me in the morning, and the last thing to hit me at night. Count the dreams I have about him in between, and you've got all day Tanner! God, I'm so cheesy sometimes! I prepared myself for school and went down for breakfast. My mom was making me some eggs and toast, and smiled at me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. I was surprised to see her up so early, she usually sleeps all day from working so late. I looked into her eyes and saw the red bloodshot specs look back at me. If she was pretending not to be comatose from lack of sleep...she wasn't very good at it.
"Hey babe. Sleep well?" She said, scooping the eggs out of the pan onto a plate for me to eat. I sat down and she sat across from me, eating some weird snack size granola bar thing, and no matter how glad I was to have a hot breakfast instead of cereal, I couldn't help but get over how strange it was for her to be up at this time of morning.
"Thanks mom. What are you doing up? Afraid you'll miss your soaps?" I smiled.
"Har dee har, smart guy. Actually your school called and the bus isn't coming today because of some kind of difficulties. So that means I'm driving you to school today."
I know it was great and all, her taking me to school, but...not in OUR car! Oh man...the crap mobile? An old rusty piece of shit that should have been shot and put out of it's misery back in 1987...she was going to take me to school in THAT? Maybe some of the snobbish attitudes of the other school kids was rubbing off on me or something, but they already made fun of me as it was, the last thing I needed to do was give them a reason to get worse. I tried not to show my disappointment, let me rephrase that...FEAR of going to school with her in the putt-putt machine, but I think she saw it in my eyes.
"Listen Derrick, you can't just stay home from school..."
"I know mom, I know. It's no problem. Really. Thanks." I said, and went back to eating my breakfast. I could only hope that I could somehow convince her to drop me off a few blocks away and let me walk to school from there. Without hurting her feelings, that is.
She was kind of quiet after that, and I was sure that she knew exactly what was on my mind. "Okay...well...just let me know when you're ready. Okay?" She said. And I saw her nibbling away on her granola bar, the bags under her eyes getting heavier by the second, and I felt bad for eating a hot meal in front of her. So I ate one piece of toast and half of my eggs and then wiped my mouth clean.
"Thanks mom, that was good. I'm really not hungry though if you want the rest." And I got up from the table before she said anything. Good old mom, always doing for me before she could do for herself. It was about time I returned the favor once in a while. I pushed the plate forward a bit and gave her a hug as I went to go get my book bag. "I don't mind the ride, but one of these days, I'll be rich, and I'll buy you a car for every day of the week. Brand new, all you have to do is pick out the color." I grinned.
"You do that baby." She said. She smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in her voice. I didn't get it. Didn't she understand that I was happy with everything that we had? I had a roof over my head, food in my belly, a loving mom, and a wonderful boyfriend. Even a decent sex life for a kid my age! She just pushed too hard to give me so much, when all I needed was her. Parents...I doubt I'll ever understand. We got our stuff together and started up our rusted car for the long drive. Was it me, or did the muffler sound even louder than usual? The back window had been broken into a while back, and we had a giant plastic flap that made the loudest 'frap frap frap' sound while we were driving. And on top of everything else, the brakes squealed whenever we came to a stop. All the springs in the seat had been crushed and I might as well have been sitting on the floor. In our neighborhood it was a little embarrassing, but the further out into the suburbs we got, the worse off our car seemed to look. I was getting closer to school, and becoming more horrified by the second. I kept thinking that it didn't matter, that it shouldn't matter. After all, it was just a material thing, not much importance to it at all. Who cared what the other kids thought? They didn't really like me anyway. But my mind betrayed me. I began to wonder what every one was saying about us. If the kids on the street were giggling behind my back. If they shook their heads or wondered how our car made it all the way out to their happy little town in the first place. And I turned to look out of the window so my mother couldn't see me blushing. God, it was awful.
We actually got to the school grounds, and I couldn't help but notice some smiles and giggles as we drove up. I wished no one would know that it was me, but I'd have to get out of the car sooner or later. And they'd be sure to wait for me too. Like waiting to see 100 clowns get out of their tiny buggy in the circus. My heart dropped as the screech of the breaks stopped us in front of the door. I didn't want to get out of the car, but it's not like they didn't already guess it was me. "There's good old Derrick the Destitute, polluting the air with his shit wagon" they'd say. The difference between rich and poor isn't really money...it's the fact that poor people actually 'care' whether or not they hurt your feelings. I was sure they would have no trouble shouting it out in the middle of the library or something. But why delay the inevitable? I might as well just get out and take whatever they can give me.
My mom must have seen my hesitation, but she pretended not to. "Have a good day Derrick. It's not so bad. Remember, for the reunion...you might be driving up in a limo." I could only wish that could be true. I leaned over to kiss her goodbye. Why not? Kissing my mom couldn't be half as bad as arriving in this thing. And I took a deep breath as I opened the car door. Naturally, the teasing started the second my mom pulled away, and I was forced to ignore it as always. Fuck 'em all! Who cares about them anyway?
Word sure must have travelled fast, because by the time I got to my second period class, everybody knew about it. It was just a car for crying out loud! You'd think they could let it go. But no...I was the kid who was smart, but too poor for it to matter to them. Not to mention the fact that I got to hang around Tanner at all times. That REALLY bugged them! And I'll admit, sometimes I would throw an arm over his shoulder and smile just so I could throw that in their face. It felt so good. Even better when he did it to me. Tanner was one of those kids who everyone wanted to meet and be friends with. A boy that everybody was constantly trying to make into Mr. Popular, but he was just too modest to let it happen. They'd invite him to every party, talk to him in the halls, nominate him for every club and committee available, try to get him to play sports...but he never did. And that's one of the things I loved about him sooo much. He never needed any of that stuff. He was just happy being alive, being real, being with me. That was just so special.
He had actually grown accustomed to coming over to my house after school during the week. After all, a ride for him was only a phone call away. I was proud to have him over to my place, he never complained, not once. And we just had the best time just talking while my mom slept on the couch on and off for the rest of the day until time to go to work. Occasionally though, she would leave early, and Tanner and I could have a lot MORE fun than usual. This was one of those afternoons.
It was a blur how we even got started, but then again, most of our encounters were. A quiet moment between us would prompt heavy kissing if nothing else, and every moment was heaven. That day I found myself on top in a 69 position with him on the bed. We were completely naked except for our socks, and for some reason the sock thing kind of turned me on. Weird. Wow, the sweet scent of Tanner's baby soft skin and heated wrinkled sack was soooo delicious. I looked down at the insides of his thighs as I swallowed his long hardness and pleasured him with as much heart as I could. His thighs were so smooth, and he would shift every now and then, making one of those soft thighs brush against my cheek and driving me wild. I looked down at his balls, full and sweet, and then down into the small beginnings of his cleft, showing me a hint of a tight pucker that was screaming to be touched and teased. My hands would often knead his cheeks softly as my tongue danced around his shaft, and the more I tantalized his body, the more he did the same to mine. His expert mouth bathed my cock in a slippery wet heat that kept swirling and sucking at me constantly, trying desperately to steal my focus away from pleasuring him on the other end. It was a battle that we were both destined to win. As I clutched his cheeks harder, pulling them apart and rolling them closed again, my nostrils were filled with this fragrance of young teen lust, as though he were coated with a thin layer of sugar sweet nectar, and it almost pushed me over the edge. I sucked harder and harder, speeding up as my climax approached. Tanner began to whimper in short little gasps, and he was close, forcing him to speed the swirling motion of his hot mouth on my cock and push his hips up to meet my downstrokes. Lifting his hips gave me greater access to his luscious ass, and I grabbed more of the small meaty cheeks in my hands. I cried out as the orgasm took a hold of my body and exploded out of me into Tanner's hungry mouth. He sucked hard, greedily drawing the semen out of me before it could ejaculate on its own, and my legs went numb on either side of his head. I felt his slick mushroomed head expand in my mouth and I prepared to take his offering with pleasure. I gripped his cheeks like a vice, crushing him against my face as I rolled over to the side, his hot cum splashing the insides of my mouth as he squirmed and moaned around me. It was almost like he was trying to pull out of my mouth, like the sensations were just too much for him, but his struggling only made me hotter, and I pulled him even closer to me as he cried out loud, burying my face in groin, his balls touching my nose, scented with that boyish aroma. And I didn't stop until every last drop was gone. We turned to face each other and breathlessly kissed until our heartbeats went back to normal. It was afternoons like this that made me thank God I loved boys.
We played around for a bit more when we got hungry and went into the kitchen for some grub. "Well, you know the options dude. Cold cereal, one of my mom's granola bars, or...yuck...fruit." I said, looking into a perpetually empty fridge.
"How's about we just order a pizza? Nothing wrong with a little junk food."
"Pizza is not junk food, pizza is a blessing. It's practically the fifth food group in Chicago. Now Slim Jim's...THAT'S junk food." I said. Tanner gave me a strange smile, like he didn't quite understand what I was talking about. "What?"
"What's a Slim Jim?"
"Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me? You don't know what a Slim Jim is???" Tanner bashfully shook his head and giggled a bit out of embarrassment.
"I guess if the housekeeper can't cook it and it doesn't come in take out, I don't eat it."
"Well...it's like this...long hard beef thing that you put in your mouth..." I started, not even knowing what that sounded like until Tanner blushed and laughed at me. "Hehehehe....pervert! Total pervert! Dude, you know what...we're going to run down to the corner store, and I'm going to give you a tour of the wonderful world of junk food."
"Um...ok! My treat!" Tanner said, and we put our shoes on and went down the block to check it out. I had only planned to get a few Slim Jims and a soda or two, but Tanner took out a small wad of cash and said he wanted to know it ALL. So we went shopping! We got Slim Jims, beef jerky, slurpees, pretzels, pork rinds, Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, cheez puffs, root beer, nutty buddy's, now and laters, potato chips in four different flavors, blow pops, jolly ranchers, ho ho's, twinkies, peanuts, crunch and munch, nachos and salsa, twizzlers, and a whole bag of tootsie rolls! We stocked up and walked home with two giant grocery sized bags full of every snack treat and cavity causing, dinner ruining, zit breeding munchable piece of garbage to ever pollute the teenage body. Then we went home and ate ourselves sick...it was great!
We sat down, flicked on the TV and just started off with some beef jerky. I was already into my third bite when I noticed Tanner still fiddling with the plastic. I watched him for a second, trying not to laugh, and saw him attempt to quietly fidget and pull at it like a four year old trying to get into a bottle of aspirin. "Hehehe...what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get this damn thing open." He said, concentrating hard on finding a way inside the shrink wrapped package.
"Why are you being so dainty about it? God, sometimes you're so GAY!" I laughed. Tanner started to giggle himself and then he banged it against the table. Like that'll do any good.
"Leave me alone! Hehehe...okay smart ass, how DO you get it open?" He grinned.
I leaned closer to him, and whispered in his ear, "This is the first and the last time I'm EVER gonna tell you this....but use your teeth!" Then I took a harsh bite of my beef jerky and my dirty little message got through. We laughed a bit, and he bit into the package, ripping it open. He smiled at finally getting to taste the legendary junk food king, and we spent the rest of the afternoon just making our way through both bags of stuff. Experimenting with this and that, Tanner really being excited to be exposed to so many new things. And he kept trying to remember the names of everything, like he was gong to be tested on it later. It was one of the few times that I actually got to teach him something that he had never experienced before.
When Tanner's ride got there, we started to kiss goodbye, but by then our breaths were a mixture of a hundred different snacks and the tastes didn't exactly 'match up.' So we giggled a bit and settled for a hug until we could reach a toothbrush! It was so cool being able to see a smile on Tanner's face, to see that look of wonder. I honestly felt like I had something to offer him when I got to open his eyes to something new. It somehow seemed to make up for all the beauty he had brought into my life. I went to sleep with quite the stomach ache that night, but every time the pain would pinch me or jab at my ribs, I'd think of me and Tanner gulping down two bags worth of junk food together while watching MTV on the living room couch, and I felt even better. I slept good that night.
The next morning I didn't see Tanner on the bus and wondered what was up. I was late for my first period class, but I called his house from a pay phone in the hallway, and found out that he had called in sick. Hehehehe I guess the initiation into the world of junk food should be taken in moderation. But he wasn't really all that miserable, just out of whack for a while, and I had fun talking to him for about 20 minutes before I remembered that I should actually TRY going to class...since I was in school and all. But I blew him a little kiss and promised to call back during lunch to see how he's doing. My perfect little angel. I went through the first part of the day without much trouble, but it was the period before lunch that I always hated the most. A science class that seemed to be filled with some of the snobbiest kids in the whole place it seemed. Especially this kid Chris, man how I loathed that guy. He just thought he was the hottest thing to ever grace the face of the Earth, and what made it worse was the fact that he actually had most of the school believing the same thing. He was the end product that the school's 'social order' wanted Tanner to be...popular, rich, sexy, new car, perfect hair, Lacrosse team, ladies man...and all the superficial bull that came with it. Chris was a real pretty boy too, one of those kids you stare at twice because he looked too good to be true. Slim, light brown hair, big green eyes, and a real heartthrob...until he opened his big mouth, that is. I'm sure that the other rich kids saw it as being 'sassy'. Me? I just thought he was a creep. I've never really heard Tanner talk about him one way or the other, I don't even think he cared enough to hate him. But Chris was bothered by anyone who didn't fall into his little world of fame, so he didn't deem either one of us worthy of much. At least I didn't think so until that day when I saw him talking to some of his 'groupies' and heard Tanner's name come up.
Naturally, I eavesdropped to see what was going on, and Chris was actually saying that it was weird not having him in school that day. When I heard that, I got a little courage and walked over. I don't know why I did it or what I expected, but for some reason it seemed like he was being friendlier than usual, and if there's was a possibility to make a new friend, I was always happy to take a chance.
"Actually...um...Tanner called in sick today. I just talked to him this morning, and he said he'd be back tomorrow." I said. Chris turned to look me up and down like I was begging for change or something. And I saw the small crowd around him mirror that attitude in an attempt to be like him.
"Was I even talking to you scrub?" He said with a look of disgust. It was stupid, I should have known better. And even though I hated him, I hated myself more for actually being hurt by the way he just humiliated me. I just turned and walked back to my desk, but after a few whispers, Chris and his posse came over to give me a little more trouble. "So you talked to Tanner this morning? That's nice. You know, I wonder exactly when he's gonna get tired of you and move on already. I didn't even think it would last THIS long." He sneered.
"Get tired of me? I doubt it. Now why don't you guys go back to your corner and let me have some piece for once."
"Say, just trying to be a friend, you know?" Chris said with an evil smile.
"Whatever."
"I'm serious, Derrick. I just want to prepare you for the inevitable, man. I mean, you don't think this little buddy-buddy friendship is really going to last, do you? Ha! Not so."
"Is that so?" I said, being totally uninterested in anything that Chris had to say. I just kept my eyes down in my book and tried my best to ignore him until he went away.
"Yeah, that's so. You know, we'll be really glad when he get's sick of you and goes back to being 'normal' like the rest of us. He's slumming right now, but he'll come back eventually. Just wait and see."
"Just what the hell are you talking about?" I asked, annoyed with the very sound of his voice. What an asshole!
"I'm talking about you being Tanner's little pet project. You don't really think he LIKES you? You're a novelty, Derrick. A circus freak that sticks out like a wooden nickle. Sure he wants to see how the other half lives, buy you a few things, make you feel good...sort of like an outreach program or adopting a starving child in Ethiopia. But once the infatuation has worn off and he gets tired of supporting a leech like you...he'll come to his senses and join the rest of us again."
Why was he doing this? I wasn't going to believe him, it was pointless for him to even try. "Like I said Chris...whatever."
"Oh, I see. You don't believe me. Well tell me something, you guys have been hanging out and stuff right? Well...when was the last time you've been to his house?" Chris asked. It wasn't working, this was stupid! I was just at Tanner's house....well I was....we were....
And it was at that moment that I realized that it had been almost two weeks since I had even seen the inside of Tanner's house. He was always coming to join me after school. But it's not like it meant anything. "A while. So what?"
"A while, huh? So he likes coming to your house now? Everyday? Like he's tired of you sponging off of him? Like he just wants to escape his life for a little while and kick it with you? Believe me Derrick, he's just trying to find something about you that's interesting enough to even consider you worthy of his time. Wake up and smell the coffee geek, your friendship is in overtime as it is. Tanner can't escape what he is even if he tried." Then Chris leaned in closer, "You know what I heard through the grapevine? I hear that since you ran out of the theater that one day without telling anybody...Tanner's been totally embarrassed to bring you in front of his family. That's why he hasn't invited you over. He's ashamed of you dude, and once he gets tired of going out of his way to give to somebody who can't afford to give back...he'll wonder why he ever liked you in the first place. He's only with you because he's taken you in like a sick little puppy in the rain. You're a charity Derrick, a financial burden, and even somebody with as much as Tanner's got in the bank can only give so much before he gets tired of you asking. Think about it."
I heard the bell ring finally, and I stood up in disgust, refusing to show them that they had gotten to me at all. I just grabbed my stuff and walked away. That's when I heard Chris shout out, "Not that I don't want you to be happy poor boy! I'm sure you'll find at least ONE friend by the end of high school. Maybe some nerd boy and you can meet, grow a snake farm, and live happily ever after." He laughed at me, the other kids joining in like the studio audience of some sitcom. He had them fooled, but I saw right through all his bullshit and laid eyes on the jerk that he really was. How DARE he suggest that Tanner didn't like me. I was hurt by the fact that he said it, but it's not like I believed him or anything...because I didn't. Tanner and I were in love. Did he know that little detail? No. Tanner told me everyday and every night, we displayed it through tears, through laughter, through sex...you can't fake that. Something this strong isn't just a fad, it'll last forever. I was sure of it. To hell with Chris AND his goons!
I went to the pay phone first thing before lunch and called Tanner who was sitting in bed watching Jerry Springer. "Hey dude, what's up?" He said. "Say, I was thinking..." I said, not really giving in to what Chris told me, but 'testing' something out of curiosity, "...maybe after school, I could drop by your house and hang out today. What do ya say?"
"Here? Nah...let's go to your place instead."
Strange, yes, but it didn't hurt me really, it was just a bit odd. "Yeah, but my mom will be home all day. So I thought...I could just stop by on my way home...maybe bring you some Slim Jims?"
"Hehehe...I think I've had my fill of Slim Jims for quite a while dude. That's okay though. I'm feeling better, really. I'll get my lazy butt out of bed and just meet you at your house."
"But my mom will be home. Remember?"
"Well...yeah, but...both my parents are home here too."
"Yeah, but Tanner your house is big enough where we can avoid them for a while. Heh heh..." I said, getting a bit worried as to why he was so insistent about keeping me away from his house.
There was a slight pause, and then he said, "...but there's nothing to do here. I have more fun at your house. You know?" I didn't say anything at first. "Derrick?"
"Oh...yeah...okay. Sounds like a plan." I said, snapping back into focus. It was beginning to sting a little bit now. What was the deal here? All of the sudden he doesn't want me hanging around his house? Nothing to do there? He had a pool table, an arcade game, a pool...there was PLENTY to do. But I decided to just agree and let it go before Chris' little ramblings really got to me. If Tanner was getting tired of me...I didn't want to know about it. I'd rather stay in the dark forever about it. I'd rather be totally in love and be fooled into thinking he felt the same way. It was better than nothing. Wasn't it?
When I got home from school, Tanner was already inside. My mom was in the kitchen baking brownies and he was helping her put the mix into the pans. He looked up at me with those big hazel specs of his and greeted me with a warm smile. He looked like a big kid wearing an apron and spooning the mix into the baking pan. "Check me out Derrick, I'm BAKING! Psh! Am I domesticated or what?" He said.
My mom grinned at us and told me to put the pans in the oven while she checked on her laundry. She left the room and Tanner scooped some leftover mix from the bowl surprising me by putting a dab of it on my nose. I giggled a bit and he kissed me while smearing some more on my cheek. I didn't know if my mom was coming or not, but I took a finger full myself and spread it gently across his lips, kissing him deeply and mixing it between us. We were both getting a bit excited by the whole thing and as soon as we noticed our pants being tented out in front of us, we stopped right away. But not before Tanner leaned over and lewdly licked the remaining chocolate off of my cheek. I must admit, I've never really been licked like that before, it kind of tickled. It felt strange and wet and a bit sticky...but not in a gross way. It was actually pretty erotic. But then again this was Tanner, he could make tying his shoe an erotic experience.
My mom walked back in and we all sat in the kitchen while waiting for the brownies to finish. We just sat around and joked for a while, and I guess I had one of those moms who you didn't really feel uncomfortable having in the room when your friends were over, because she just gave us our space. It looked like it was going to be a long night, so I thought Tanner should let his parents know that he was going to be home late. "Say dude, you should call home so you can stay awhile."
"Call home? Why would I need to do that?" Tanner asked with a confused smile.
"So...they know where you are man. They'll worry about you."
"Oh yeah, right. Um...do you have a phone in your bedroom or something. I'll just tell them I'm out with friends." And I showed him the way. 'Out with friends?' Is that what he said? For some reason the very thought of that made me think. So not only was I not welcome in his house, but he didn't even want to let his parents know he was hanging out with me. I know he didn't mean it, I was sure of it, but he was really starting to dig his nails into my heart here. I was willing to give him all I had in this world, even if it wasn't much. I don't care what anybody said, I was not a charity case. Tanner loved me and I loved him. He already told me the other stuff doesn't matter, and I believe him.
He came back into the room smiling as though it had never happened, and after a few exchanges, I guess I felt well enough to forget about it for a while and just enjoy the evening. My mom actually broke out a deck of cards and we all played poker until they were done. Sometimes my mom could be so cool. We all laughed a bit and then ate or desert before he had to go home. Geez, I never wanted to see him leave. I wish he would just move in next door or something. After all, I was just going to end up calling him by the end of the night anyway. My mom actually offered to give him a lift, but I quickly objected! No reason for him to be subjected to the awful splendor of the junk wagon. And he called for his ride to pick him up. He loved me, he HAD to. I mean he was having fun, wasn't he? I had done everything I could to make him laugh a little, and we made brownies...that was cool. Chris didn't know what he was talking about. That asshole. And to think, I was actually starting to believe him.
I went to bed that night, after calling Tanner and talking to him of course, thinking about the two of us. But it wasn't the usual happy thoughts of Tanner and I living in total bliss for the rest of our lives. No, this time it was more analytical, like I was examining every moment we had ever spent together and seeing if it was real. I just wanted to know if I should brace myself for a harsh let down here. I don't know if I could survive it if Tanner decided he really was through with me and wanted to be 'normal' again. Arrrrgh! Me...sitting here using Chris' words! Why am I letting him get to me anyway? Forget it Derrick, just let it go and enjoy what you have before you screw it up. It was hard to sleep, trying desperately attempting to drive the demons from my mind, but I finally made it. Dreams about Tanner were as common as breathing, I only hoped that it wasn't as 'fantasy-driven' in real life as it was in my subconscious. We all need our waking dreams too.
School had its usual dismal appeal, not that I expected any more from it. But at least my sweetie pie was by my side, and that made it so much better. The beginning of the day breezed right by, and I got to gym class a bit early that day. That's when I saw Chris walk past my locker, evidently running late from the class before me. He had just stepped out of the shower, with only a towel wrapped around his slim waist, his hair dripping wet, his muscles looking soft and relaxed from the heat of the running water, his green eyes sparkling with even more glory than usual. As much as I hated him for the kind of person he was, if I didn't know anything about him and saw him from afar...it would be a mouthwatering religious experience. He really was cute, in a 'big asshole' kind of way. He didn't seem to notice me at first, but then once he recognized me he shuffled over to me and flashed me that cocky grin that let me know that there was some grief coming my way.
"So, you step into the real world yet, loser? Or do you still think this is all a game?" He said.
As he stepped closer, he smelled of heat and soap and a hint of shampoo. It was almost an erotic combination. I didn't even look him in the eye when I answered with, "Did you grow a personality yet? Or are you still an asshole?"
"You know, attacking me won't make it any better. Ok, suit yourself. But I'm willing to bet you won't see the inside of Tanner's house for a very long time. God knows I wouldn't let you in."
"Aren't you late or something?" I asked, trying to get him to just leave me alone. What did I ever do to these people anyway? And why did he smell so damn good???
"Not hardly. The class will wait for me. They ALWAYS wait for me. You see...I'm the boy that little fags like you dream about. I'm the guy you'll never be, no matter how hard you try. As long as you remember your place, you'll be fine." And he finally backed off a bit to get dressed. I was hardly a threat to Chris in any way. He had no reason to feel the need to pester me, he just did it out of pure spite. Sometimes I almost wish Tanner could take his place as Mr. Popularity and knock him down a few pegs. Tanner was MUCH cuter, MUCH sweeter, and a MUCH better human being than Chris would ever be. Without his ego, there was hardly anything left.
Chris opened the combination lock on his locker down at the other end of the row. We were the only two there, and the other people in my class were sure to start filing in any second now. I started to unbutton my shirt when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris drop his towel to the floor. I don't know what it was, but I felt a slight stirring in the pit of my stomach, and I was suddenly tempted to look at him. I tried not to turn my head, tried not to let my curiosity get the best of me...but geez....he smelled sooo good. And it wasn't like I 'liked' him or anything. In fact I was disgusted by everything he said or did, it probably wouldn't even interest me all that much. I was probably bigger than he was anyway. So what harm would it do to sneak a peek? Let's see what Mr. Mouth here has got to offer anybody stupid enough to want to spend time with a spoiled brat like him.
So I turned my head just a little bit and took a little secret glance at him...oh...oh wow...it was incredible! The first thing I saw was the milky white skin on his beautifully round teen butt as he pulled his clothes out of his locker. His long hairless legs were so smooth looking, and damp. Even from across the room, a hint of that sexy fragrance crept my way and seemed to enhance the picture even more. His keys dropped out of his pants pocket, and he bent over to pick them up without shame. I saw just a hint of his freshly cleaned pucker, when he did it, and it made my cock slowly begin to stiffen and swell. I turned my back quickly before I gave myself away, but in my heart, I wanted to look again...maybe even stare. I took another glance as he dried the last few droplets of water off of his slender body. It was decorated with swimmer's muscles, long and sleek, and he dried his hair with the towel, allowing me a few seconds to get a full glance. Then, he put one of his legs up on the bench and began to dry his private area. I couldn't help but gaze at him as he did it, and his balls were visible underneath his one lifted leg...they were just there, looking tastey and full, still soft and wet. And as he jiggled the towel back and forth over them, I could have sworn I saw the head of his penis as it bounced back and forth with his hand motions. I was mesmerized, and suddenly jerked my head back into position to look straight ahead. There, that's enough...curiosity satisfied. He's not all that. Just like everybody else. So he's cute, so what? Not enough to cover up the fact that he's a complete bastard on the inside. Not even worth a second look.
I got into my gym shorts and Chris finally finished getting dressed. Then he walked past me and said, "Later, bitch." and just walked away. Fuck it, who needs him?
I was talking to Tanner right before we got on the bus to go home, and asked him if maybe he wanted to hang out today. "Sure! What do you say we go to your house and order a pizza?" Tanner said with a smile.
"Um....that's sounds fun, dude. But...actually I was thinking we could go to YOUR house and play a few games or something." I said. I was still feeling a bit strange about all this, and it just seemed too weird to me that I hadn't been over in so long.
"My house? Who wants to go over there? I'm there all the time. I need to get away from it all once in a while."
"Well...yeah, but..I haven't been over in a while. I just thought it would be nice to change the location. You know?"
"Well...how about we just go out and get a bite to eat at the mall. And I'll have somebody pick me up and drop you off at home before taking me back?"
Okay...this was not good. What was going on here? I was determined to see what was going on in Tanner's mind. If he was ashamed of me, he could just say it. I'd understand...I guess. I mean, maybe I wasn't the kind of person he usually hangs out with, but I was sure that I at least gave him a FEW smiles here and there. I might not deserve to be at Tanner's side, I'd never deny that, but if anything I deserved to know how he felt about me. We got on the bus, and since this was bothering me so, I didn't want to go on not knowing. I had to ask. "Tanner...is there something you're not telling me here?"
"What? I just thought it would be fun, that's all."
"I mean about me coming over. Don't you WANT me to come over?"
Tanner looked at me with a bit of surprise for a second, and then diverted his eyes to the ground. "Dude, can we not...look...I like it at your house okay? That's all. Don't get me wrong, I like having you over and all, but..." "But what? Go ahead. Tell me. But what?" I said, politely demanding an answer.
"Derrick, it's not like I don't want you there, it's just that I would rather go out someplace else. That's all it is. I didn't say you weren't welcome."
"So just humor me and let me come over for just today. Would it be that bad?"
"It won't be bad, just..." He stuttered.
"Just what? Are you running an illegal drug operation in the basement? Is your dad Batman? Are you fumigating for rich cockroaches with Gucci purses? hat? Give me something to go on here, Tanner."
"I don't know why this is such a big deal to you."
"It's not a big deal. That's why I don't see the harm in spending some time in your mansion there."
"My parents are home..."
"And you don't want them to see me. That's what it is, isn't it? You don't want them to know that you're playing big brother to little Derrick the Destitute from the poor side of town, where people don't matter. Is that right?" I said, almost loud enough for other people on the bus to hear us.
"Derrick...what the hell? Can we not do this right now? If you don't want to hang out today, just let me know and I'll go home alone."
"I'm not ASKING you to go home alone. I'm asking to join you, but you obviously don't want that as long as your snobby parents are home."
Tanner flashed me a hurt look and shoved me. The look in his eyes made me want to take it all back, but my pride wouldn't let me. He hurt my feelings, why should I care if I hurt his? He suddenly grabbed his bag tight, and pushed and stepped on my feet as he got up out of his seat. "Fuck you Derrick! I really don't need this!" And he moved to the other side of the bus.
We didn't say a word to each other for the next few minutes, and Tanner got off the bus without so much as looking back in my direction to flip me the finger. I didn't know if I should be glad or angry or heartbroken. I mean, what did he do to deserve an attack like that. Maybe I was being too pushy about it all. I mean, it hurt, yes, but I wasn't necessarily a big prize. I should be getting down on my knees and thanking the stars above every single day that someone like Tanner would even look twice at me. He was more than I deserved to have, and here I am pushing him away over some bullshit scuffle about who's house to visit after school. Still...I was a real person, with real feelings. I know it shouldn't matter to me or to anybody else, but I was DETERMINED to prove that one day. To Tanner, to his parents, to his family, to the kids at school, to Chris...I was going to show them all.
I pretty much felt like shit for the rest of the way home, and I had made the decision to just call Tanner when I got home and beg his forgiveness. Even if he didn't like me, even if I was his pet project, I was going to make this last for as long as I could. So fifty years from now, when I'm old and grey and alone, I can say I had a true love in my life, and I did my best to make it work. I walked home from the bus stop and as soon as I walked through the front door, I put my bag by the phone. I picked it up, but stopped suddenly when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I froze at first, wondering whether to call out and see if it was my mom, call the police, or just run my ass off. We've been robbed before when I was little, but not while I was actually in the house! I don't know what made me do it, but I weakly called out to see if it was my mother.
"Mom? Is that you?" No answer. And I heard another noise from the kitchen. Okay....my heart was beating a thousand times per second now, and I was moving closer to the kitchen. I grabbed the broom from the corner and took it with me. Whatever Derrick! Like THAT'S gonna protect you! And I snuk around he corner and peeked my head around. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I saw Tanner fooling around in the fridge and wearing a portable cd player on his hip. He was nodding his head slightly to the music and didn't even see me coming. I tapped him on the shoulder to let him know I was there and he freaked!
"OH SHIT!!! Derrick! Jesus, you scared the SHIT out of me!" He said ripping the earphones off of his head. "I thought you were a burglar."
"Well, what the hell were you gonna do? Sweep me to death?"
"What are you doing here anyway? I kinda got the impression you didn't want to talk to me." I said, my stubbornness returning.
"Your mom let me in before she went to work. I just stopped by to see you. As soon as I got home, I had somebody drive me over here before you got home."
"Great. Well there's a good way to keep me from coming over. Just meet at my house all the time and I'll never be the wiser."
"Sigh....Derrick, look, we have to talk." He said, a serious look in his eye, his soft hands grabbing the broom from my hands. This was it. He was either going to tell me that he loved me no matter what, or he was going to tell me to piss off. If it turned out bad, could I take it? If it turned out well, could I believe it? I wasn't quite sure what to expect from all of this at all. We went back into my bedroom and sat down next to each other on the bed. I wasn't quite sure what to say, and I don't think he was either.
"Okay..." He started, "I'm going to ask you something. And no matter what happens, I want you to be totally honest with me, okay?" Then Tanner took a deep breath, his voice shaking as though he was terrified to say what was on his mind. "Are....are you trying to tell me...to get lost or something?"
I was a little dumbfounded that he would ask such an odd question, and I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. I looked over at him and he was obviously dreading the wrong answer. "Tanner...I'm not trying to get rid of you. I love you more than anything."
"Then what is it? What am I doing wrong?"
Tanner was beginning to tear, and I turned around so as not to look him in the eyes. My heart was an open book for him, and I didn't want to hurt him by letting him know he was hurting me. "I know how you feel about...well, about who I am. Or better, WHAT I am."
"What is that supposed to MEAN, Derrick? I don't get it." He said, almost breaking into a sob.
Don't look Derrick, don't look. Once you do, you'll crack. Don't make this worse than it has to be. "I'm not like the others, Tanner. I'm not normal. You shouldn't have to hide anything because of me, you shouldn't have to face the teasing that I do, or miss out on your chance to be the hottest kid in school. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your time or your money or anything else for me. It's not worth it."
"Why do you always say that? What the hell do I have to do to prove to you that none of that stuff matters to me? YOU matter to me. You're always telling me how you don't deserve me and how you're not good enough and how I don't have to buy you stuff. Derrick I do that because it's the only way for me to show you how much I care about you. I don't know how to say it because this is still all so new to me. And God, I'm so sorry if you don't know how deep my love for you goes, but I want you to feel the same way. And I don't want you to feel guilty about accepting the same from me. All the things I've ever done for you...no, WITH you...they don't even scratch the surface of how badly I want to be with you. And until they put a price on Heaven and Earth, I never will."
"I just don't think you know how incredible you are." I cried, tears rolling down my cheeks. What did I want? What was I trying to say? Whatever it was, I just didn't want to hurt over this anymore. "You are so beautiful in every way. You should find somebody exciting, and rich, and good looking, and all the other things that I can't give you. You're perfection, Tanner, and you need perfection in return. I don't think you'll ever understand that."
He put his soft hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently, and it made my eyes burn, the fire being snuffed out by a steady flow of tears. And he said, "And without you in my arms..there IS no perfection. I don't think you'll ever understand that."
The bastard had an answer for everything! "I just....I just don't want you to be embarrassed by me."
"Embarrassed? What are you talking about?" I didn't want to say any more. This whole thing was silly enough. Dammit, why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't I have more, why couldn't I be one of the snotty brats at school with no conscious at all? It must be awesome to live in a fantasy world like they do. A world where they feel like a king all the time, a world where they honestly believe the world owes them a favor, that people worship the ground they walk on. What do I have? Insecurities...damn insecurities. "Derrick, talk to me. Aren't you even gonna look at me?"
It took a few seconds for me to finally turn around, but I couldn't look him in the eye for too long. So my gaze kept going down to his chest instead. It made it a little bit easier to say. "I know you're ashamed of me, and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry! I wish I could be different, but I just can't. I'm just stuck here in this house, in these clothes, in my mom's car...it's like I'll never be able to escape it, no matter what I do. And I know you don't want me in your house, and I know you don't want your parents to know that we still hang out, and I know...."
"Wait, wait...you...you think I'm ASHAMED of you? That's what this is all about? Oh dude...dude come here..." And Tanner pulled me close to him, kissing me on the forehead and wrapping his loving arms around me as my tears soaked into his shirt. "Dude, I'm not ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you. You're the most caring, funny, lovable person I've ever met in my life. You never have to wear a mask for me, or for anybody. You can have fun and just be alive, just be in love. You have sooo much dude. I'm not ashamed of your situation...I'm ashamed of mine."
That was a bit confusing, what in the world did he have to be ashamed of? "What do you mean? You have everything, what more could you possibly want?"
"What do I want? Derrick I want to run down to the corner store to stuff myself on junk food until I get sick. I want to play basketball with a group of kids who are more concerned about the score than they are about breaking a sweat. I want to come home to a mom who bakes brownies and plays cards with me instead of just ignoring me all of the time. A mom who will care when I'm out late and don't call her to let her know I'm alive. I want to be able to get dirty without somebody throwing a fit. I want to go to school and have fun without people piling nominations for sports and councils and clubs on my desk. I want to be friends who like me and not just be lured in by the fact that the others think of me as being someone 'with potential'. I want parents that will drive me to school or take me to a friends house instead of being driven around by some hired guy in a uniform. I want what you take for granted Derrick. I just want to be 'normal' and not some candidate for Mr. Popularity. I want you, all I've ever wanted was you. Because I love you Derrick, and nothing else in this world means more to me than what we have together. Nothing."
I looked up into his eyes, and the water in our eyes seemed to cause both of our specs to glow with affection. To think that we loved one another so much that we actually envied each other for our faults. I suppose looking at someone's life from the outside is always the best place to see it from. It never occurred to me that he might not enjoy being so wonderful, that he could possibly feel any pain or grief at all. I didn't see anything wrong with him at all, not a single silken hair out of place, not a single personality trait that seemed out of whack. To think that he grew so incredibly perfect out of a family and atmosphere that seemed so cold at times, was even more incredible. It was a magical moment that we shared, our eyes locked together, embracing with all the love we had to give, and we came together in a passionate kiss that left us both breathless. I loved this boy so much it hurt to even try to analyze it. Where would I be without my Tanner?
A kiss had never been more erotic. We didn't even use our tongues for the first fifteen minutes, content to just hold each other, happy to just connect in some way that was real. We laid back and our lip lock increased in intensity. It was a confusing emotion to feel at that moment, to have to choose whether to bask in the pleasure he gave to me, or concentrate on giving him twice as much pleasure in return. And as his boyish breath transferred from his body into mine, I felt myself start to get hard. My stiffened member tented out the front of my pants, reaching out until my hard on met his. The first contact made both of us gasp with the realization that we were both thinking the same thing, and we crushed our groins together right away, our tongues darting outwards to connect even more. We pushed and ground in an erotic slow dance for what seemed like an eternity, not a single article of clothing coming off. My whole body tingled as we rolled back and forth on the bed, Tanner on top of me for a minute or two, only for us to trade positions shortly after. It was as if my entire body wanted to come, but my heart held the orgasm back until it was finished loving the boy that gave it life, gave it meaning. It was a euphoria that lifted me from reality and into that strange world of dreams, that world where you can believe and disbelieve simultaneously. Tanner was the only one who ever made me feel that way.
I let my hands roam over Tanner's body. God I loved every inch of him, it was so smooth, his body so tight, his ass so soft, so warm, his kiss so sweet. I loved the way his silky light brown hair would brush back and forth across my forehead when we kissed, his breath blowing softly on my cheek. His lips were so tender that it felt like I would bruise them if I kissed him any harder. And his tongue was wet and cool as it slowly wiggled it's way around the inside of my mouth. My hands moved down to his ass and he shivered with delight, pushing into me hard and letting the rubbing of our two cocks become an unbearable and frustrating sensation of pure bliss. I kneaded his cheeks again and again, and Tanner was so hot that he couldn't continue to kiss me, he instead moaned out loud and buried his head into my neck. He molded his body to mine and humped me passionately, his panting getting faster and faster in my ear as his hips rolled around on top of me. I closed my eyes and just felt his body heat mix with mine, the scent of Tanner's lovely teen fragrance filling me once again. And when I felt his hands reach for my zipper, I became consumed with an anxiety like you wouldn't believe. We stripped, quickly, without ever once losing physical contact of some kind. One of these days I'll film it just so I could rewind it and see just how that was possible. And there we lay, our naked bodies sliding erotically over one another, Tanner's creamy, frictionless skin giving me goose bumps with his every movement. He kissed me deeply again and then tongued a long wet trail to my tender belly, where he darted his tongue in and out of my belly button. I writhed with a ticklish spasm as he ate out my navel, his face rolling back and forth across my stomach. His smooth chest was pressed against my hardness, and the slickness of it was amazing. I pushed myself into it again and again, his sleek pecs stroking me up and down, exciting me even more. Tanner must have known how worked up I was getting, because he moved down to quickly suck me into his hot mouth, bobbing a few times and coating me with a heavy layer of saliva. He rubbed the insides of my thighs and used one finger to toy with my asshole while his other fingers brushed up against my balls. My whole body was trembling, and it felt like I was going to pass out any minute. Then, Tanner pulled off of me, and brought me up to sit up against my headboard. He looked into my eyes seductively, and slowly kissed m again, making me close my eyes as I felt his lean body straddle mine. Oh God he was so warm and silky, a tantalizing bath of teenaged beauty. His hand took a hold of my cock, straining for release, and yet straining to hold it in for the most intense pleasure of a lifetime. I felt the tightness of Tanner's puckered rosebud as it touched the tip of my cock, and he hesitated a second to tease me, before allowing me to enter inside. I moaned and whimpered out loud in short bursts as I felt the constricting ring of Tanners asshole stubbornly give way to my invasion. It swallowed me inch by inch, every bit of progress into his tunnel getting hotter and hotter. His wet insides swirled around me, the entire space alive with movement, quivering and moving, opening and closing, pulsing and spasming. Steamy and moist, I could feel his heartbeat through our intimate connection, and he could feel mine. And those two heartbeats were in tune, in perfect harmony, I shouldn't have expected anything less.
Tanner continued to slide down my shaft while I squirmed like mad underneath him. GOD HE FELT GOOD! He kept going, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as I hit his prostate. He was almost crying it felt so incredible, and then he opened his eyes as he moved in a bit further to rest his curved spongy cheeks on my lap. We stayed like that for a minute, both of us almost at the point of orgasm as it was, and Tanner leaned forward a bit to lick the tip of my nose.
"Shit! No...don't do that! Don't do that! I won't be able to hold it!" I panted, feeling my mind run around in circles. I wanted to slide in and out of him soooo bad, but I knew that any sudden moves would bring this precious moment to an end. I reached down and gave Tanner's cock a few gentle strokes. He wrapped his arms around my neck and groaned sexily, his insides gripping me with his response.
"I love you Derrick." He whispered with a smile.
"Shhh! Hehehehe! Don't!" I had to stop him, his voice, his words, everything about him was pushing me over the edge.
"Mmmm...but I do. I love you sooooo much." He said, completely making love to me mentally without even moving. I felt my heart burst, my eyes getting watery again. And at that moment, Tanner leaned in to kiss me, slightly rising up on my shaft. The sensations nearly killed me!
"Oh God! Oh...ohhhh..." I couldn't even string enough words together to make any sense. Tanner slid back down again slowly, only to rise again. I stroked him faster, and he growled with joy, bouncing a bit more.
"I love you Derrick." He teased, smiling at me with a mischievous grin.
"Stop it!"
"I Looooooove yoooooou Derrick!" He whispered as sensually as he could, still rising and falling on my super sensitive cock. I decided to tease him a little too, so I sped up on his cock until he was almost ready to let go, and then I completely let go of it. Letting it twitch in mid air, spasming out of control but not getting enough attention to release him from his torture. After the third time of doing this, Tanner was wild, and began to really bounce on my lap, my hips moving up to meet him. He was so hot and tight, the feeling was beyond words. And finally, I felt the head of my cock get painfully sore, ready to burst with hot semen, and the tingling shaft made me moan and wiggle trying to force the orgasm to shoot out of me before the excitement killed me. I stroked Tanner to the point where he was in the same position, and this time, when I pulled off, he couldn't stand anymore. I knew he was going to cum no matter what, and I reached up to hold his hands on my shoulders. He gasped and screamed, trying to get his hands free to touch himself, to jack off the impending climax, but I wouldn't let him. His cock jerked wildly on its own and I saw it expand by itself. Tanner came without even touching himself, his hard dick shooting stream after stream of cum onto my chest as he continued to move up and down my shaft. He was struggling something awful, his orgasm shooting out of him like crazy, and him unable to stop it, or control it, or finish it off with his hands. His whole body shook in a way that I had never seen before. And seeing the look of unbelievable joy on his face made me crossover into a blinding orgasm myself. Tanner's hot insides swirled and sucked at my cock as it spasmed out of control inside of him. I felt like I'd never stop cumming inside of him, and I never wanted to. We ached with a post orgasmic weakness that left us both drained and relaxed. We couldn't move for the first few minutes, and then Tanner rolled off of me, and we just laid there in each other's arms. It was amazing, we were too exhausted to even kiss after that. I honestly think it's the best sex we ever had, and we had been practicing...a LOT.
It was sooo hard to keep from falling asleep like that, but we had to fight it off. Didn't want to oversleep and wake up to my mom asking me what the hell was going on here. But the more Tanner told me he had to go, the more I begged him to stay. We never wanted to leave each other's arms, we could easily stay that way forever. But once Tanner got up, it seemed like half of my soul got up with him. To love someone that much is a magic I won't even insult trying to describe.
Tanner did make it home, and left me in the house giggling to myself and feeling like a kid Christmas. I danced around the living room for a while, wondering if there was anyway for me to burn off this lovely burst of energy. It was a jittery feeling, an incredible sensation that enhanced my outlook on life in every possible way. I was literally shaking. I sat down on the couch and watched TV for a while. I wondered if maybe I should give Tanner a call, just to say hello. I was smiling to myself, impatient with myself because I knew I was going to head for the phone eventually. I thought about it for a few minutes more, and even though he had just left an hour or so ago, I just HAD to hear his voice again. He was just so amazing. I finally got up and walked over to dial his number. But before I picked up the receiver...
...The phone rang.
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