"Summer Songs"
The main idea for this story was to have a main character that had been betrayed before, and was compelled to try again by the power of love. That was something that I was hoping to push a lot harder than I did in the finished piece. I gave Alex a musical personality and blond curls. In the original concept, Alex was actually gay. But at the last minute, while I was writing it, it just seemed more believable to just have him be curious. It's a decision that could have worked either way in my opinion.
This story was originally titled "Musical Interludes" until the very last line had been written! Then I came up with several other titles before just giving in and settling with "Summer Songs". I still hate the fact that "Summer Love" and "Summer Songs" were both written back to back! Just because the names are so similar.
I didn't want to preach the point too strongly, because it would have led the story in another direction, but I put a little anti-suicide message into the beginning of the story. It was only a few sentences long, and I knew that I couldn't deal with it seriously without going in depth about it. So I treated it lightly with a sense of humor. I hope it wasn't offensive to anyone.
Alex's character is made up, but it's loosely based on this 16 year old kid who used to work at this video game store around my house that I used to come in and visit every now and then. I was almost 20 at the time, and didn't really think of it as flirting, but now that I look back at it...I guess it was. He was so cute, and we used to talk about all the new magazines and games coming out and how they rated.
The book bag was actually a memory from the times in junior high when my friend and I used to steal cassette tapes from Sound Warehouse! We were pretty good at it too! I still have a few of those tapes around the house!
Gary's fear of Alex quitting came from a time after high school when an classmate of mine was working at a Suncoast Video in a mall around my house. I had always thought he was cute, but never really pursued him before. I used to talk to him whenever he was there and we never exchanged phone numbers or anything. So when I came back one Friday looking for him, his manager said he had quit the week before. I never saw him again.
I remember how many empty promises I had made to myself growing up. "I'll tell him everything, I swear. The very next time I see him! I'll just let her know how I feel!" Etc., Etc. You guys will never know how many boys and girls have slipped through my fingers because of that!
It was hard for me to try to come up with a way for the two kids to hang out when they hardly knew each other. The music cd just kind of popped into my head, and I'm sorry to say, I just threw it in there because it was late and I needed some sleep!
I once lived right next door to a store where I worked after school when I was 17 years old. And like Alex...I was late every single day!
Like I said earlier, Alex wasn't straight in the beginning. That was a last minute change that I decided on as soon as the two boys kissed for the first time. It just seemed to flow better that way, and I couldn't change it without it feeling forced. That's why, if you notice earlier in the story, it seems like Alex is making advances towards Gary and giving very strong signals. I think it turned out well though to just have him be horny and curious. Besides, it was unrealistic and repetitive to have ALL of my characters be gay by chance.
There was actually one time when I was about twelve years old, that I had another boy suggest, in so many words, that we have sex so we could say that we weren't virgins anymore. This was over Spring break, he was a nice looking boy with dark brown hair and always wore a bomber jacket, and our dad's worked together. I never went through with it though...I was too shy and nervous to say yes! If I only knew then what I know now...
I had mixed feelings about this story while I was writing it, but after reading the finished product and changing a few words here and there, I grew to love this little short. Even though Alex isn't real, the picture of him in my mind is vivid enough to make me fall for the little cutie! This story got decent reviews from my readers, but all eyes were on "New Kid" by this time, and this story sort of fell into the background. People have asked for a sequel, but I really don't think it needs one. I think I like it how it is, short and sweet.
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"A Stepbrother I Could Love 2"
For a solution to a huge rush of requests to sequels to EVERYTHING I wrote, I needed a way to pick something without letting too many people down. People were just now finding the site and while reading on nifty they had already picked out their faves, so I decided to have a "See a Sequel" contest on my message board to see which one they really wanted. I was pleased and surprised at how evenly the votes had actually come out, which didn't help much. Hehehehe, but in the last week, two stories took off and went to the top of the favorites list. One was "To Be More Than Friends, and the other, winning by only a few votes, was "A Stepbrother I Could Love". A fave from the site for quite a long time. Evidently the audience fell hard for the cute little Carter and saw this story as second only to "New Kid". I worried about it, because I knew whatever it was, it had better be good. I'd have to make it worthwhile after the month long contest, and it would have to be special and have meaning. That's when I decided to up the emotional content by making the story be about 'shared' love, and 'shared' emotions. About taking someone younger and opening his eyes to feelings he's never known. I think it went over well, and it's the first time that I made a sequel outside of "New Kid". It became an instant hit, and readers were pleased with the continuation. I would still like to do a third someday, but my heart is telling me to leave it as is right now. Who knows?
Ethan's obsession with touching Carter mirrors one that I had for a girl in the 6th grade. I don't know what it was, but I always wanted to touch her or hug in some way. I think it's one of the biggest crushes I've had on a girl to date except for one, who became my girlfriend (and later my ex-girlfriend!). But I remember how electrifying it was just to hold her hand or talk to her, that was really special, and I wanted that feeling to make it's way into the story.
I really liked the fact that Carter was too young to really know what love was. It was so cool trying to put that level of confusion in him throughout the story. He knew affection, but not love, that was just so cute to me.
I never told this to anybody ("blushing"), but when I had sex for the first time, I also came for the first time. I had no idea what jacking off was all about, and I had only seen it in my dad's porno movies on beta. So after the boy left, about ten minutes later I was jacking off and trying to get that feeling to happen again. That's pretty much how I learned, and I've been getting better at it ever since! Anyway, I put that into the story about Ethan never getting enough and having to jack off anyway. It was just a little extra for me.
"Eeeewwwww", the whole idea of Ethan's mom being a sexual being was just hard for him to take. I added it to give the story the same 'feel' as the first one. But if there was (or ever will be) a 3rd chapter to the story, more likely than not, the parents will be a major part of the story.
I don't know why, but I really have a thing for cuddling in bed. Something about warm covers and kissing and touching just turns me on. I think that little touch of intimacy between the two kids makes the story much more warm and fuzzy like!
I liked the fact that Carte was still very young and almost blind to the idea of true love. I think that the most erotic part of the entire story was him discovering that love and experiencing those feelings for himself. So sure, it would be normal for him to choose friends and baseball games over sex. It's only us older college guys who do the opposite! But falling in love can sometimes be more incredible than BEING in love.
I actually had a cousin (female) who my uncle gave some beer to when she was 9 years old, and she really did wet the bed. She was so ashamed that she didn't even talk to me for like two days. I added this in because I wanted Carter to reveal some kind of deep secret to show his love for Ethan. This seemed like the most logical choice, and it proved yet again that he was still very young and it gave him that innocent and naive quality that made Carter so attractive to me in the first place.
I had Carter swallow for this first time in this chapter. It just seemed like a proclamation of a change in him from infatuation to love for the two boys. It was my way of increasing that emotional bond between the two of them.
"But I couldn't finish, he was too busy kissing me." I reversed this little quote from the beginning of the story to show that Carter understood and felt the same way now. I left the story at that, because it just seemed so happy at that point that I wanted to give that idea of them being together forever after that.
I was really proud of this one once the letters started rolling in. I was really beginning to fall in love with the characters and I couldn't wait to start writing more stories with the same chemistry! Reader's reaction was REALLY good for this story, and was one of the biggest inspirations for me to write sequels to other stories too. People begged for another sequel but after this one, I honestly felt that the story had been told and I wanted to leave it as is. However, my mind has been travelling back to it recently, so a 3rd chapter is not completely out of the question.
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"New Kid In School: Eighth Chapter
This was by far one of the scariest and most delicate chapter that I've ever had to write. I knew from the beginning how I basically wanted it to go, but I was incredibly intimidated by it. The readers all wanted to be like them, wanted to learn from them, and were wrapped up in the fantasy of two boys in love. I got many letters after the Tyler situation begging me to keep the two lovebirds together, and for that, I almost abandoned this chapter altogether. But in the end I figured that these things really do happen, and I wanted the story to take a certain direction. Afterall, I couldn't just keep adding more and more mush into the series until I ran out of ways to say it, something had to change. Something big enough to test what they had built so far. Besides, it wouldn't seem right for Randy to get away with sleeping with Tyler and just never getting caught. Not to me anyway. In the end, although I got a LOT of humorous 'death threats' the very same night and many more the next morning, this chapter is basically responsible for really boosting the site's popularity by leaps and bounds. I'm glad I went through with it actually. (Me? Happy with my writing? Go figure...)
I loved the idea of starting with the two of them waking up as a 'couple' for the first time. I didn't just want to jump to the next morning ride home, I wanted there to be cuddling and kissing and all the things that "normal" relationships have when everybody isn't watching. I also liked the fact that they used this as a sad way of saying goodbye to their wild weekend of freedom. Especially with Ryan's pouty puppydog look, showing that they never wanted to leave. It was a sweet intro to what was about to take place.
The part where they're throwing the sheets over their heads is another display of how great it felt for them to be alone. To just do as they pleased and have fun for a change without anybody's consent. It was just a little burst of spontaneous giggles that I threw in for fun.
Chapter 8 was also a big part of making Randy and Ryan's catch phrase of "I love you/ I love you more" to become a regular part of the series. It was like the tootsie roll thing, but with more of a romantic feel to it. It's something they've shared a lot throughout the chapters to come.
The comical way that Ryan tells the ladies in the hotel that the two of them had been having sex all night was a funny aside that came out of nowhere really. But believe it or not, it was the first admittance of any kind that the two of them were gay. The fact that he was comfortable with it shows that the relationship has just been increased a notch or two.
Later, Ryan's giddy and playfull nature was the ultimate high of the story. Especially while being with Randy and kissing him while his mother's back was turned. It almost seems like the first time Ryan was really in love. Because up until now, Randy had always been the goofy one.
A lot of people wondered, "Why doesn't Randy just tell Tyler to get lost?" And I wanted to show that it wasn't quite that easy. Just becaus one person stops feeling one way, it doesn't mean that the other can turn it off too. Tyler was in love too, and I didn't see Randy as the heartbreaker type, he's much too sensitive to not be compassionate about Tyler's feelings. AND....I liked letting the question linger for a while longer. Setting up two problems at once instead of just one. In later chapters, this would become a regular part of the formula. Where did it come from, you ask? Believe it or not, I went with Stephen and another one of my best friends to see 'Pet Semetary 2' when it came out. Stephen and Eddie Furlong at the same time! Woo Hoo! Anyway, Eddie's character says it to his mother in the first part of the movie right before she dies. It seemed appropiate for this chapter for that very reason, since it marked a slight 'end' to their innocent relationship, and I've been using it ever since.
The mystery of Ryan being too heartbroken to go to school was a big one for most readers at that time. I don't think anyone really expected Ryan to ever find out what happened. In fact, most wanted me to take the usual erotic fiction route and have a very erotic threesome. I had been asked so many times that I considered it again, but it never felt right, so I didn't do it. So the fact that he was pissed when Randy came home caught a lot of people off guard.
I added the basketball to distract Ryan while he was talking. To show that he was upset by his actions, not his words. I didn't want him to 'sound' mad right away, because he had to know if it was true, he had to make Randy say it. I didn't just want Ryan to walk up to him on the street, make an accusation and storm off without saying another word. There had to be a little suspense involved. Hehehehe.
The lovable beginning of the story hit crash and burn at this point, and what made it so powerful was the fact that the story was so happy and sweet just a few paragraphs above it. I thought twice about using the words 'I fucking hate you' because they sounded so harsh. For Ryan to say that when he was so in love seemed rather cutthroat. But after more thought I figured it would be good to shock people a little with it. I wanted it to sting a little, and really hurt. So I left it in, and it must have worked because a lot of people were really rattled by the end of this chapter. And then that lead up to...
THE PUNCH! The first physical contact the two have ever had that didn't feel good! Hehehehe! This was the clincher that readers would be talking about for a long time to come, and it felt sooo good to see emails with "I really never saw that coming at all!"
Another thing that really surprised everyone was the somewhat dismal ending. I had created cliffhangers before, but never like this. Before they had always been full of happy endings, with the question of what's to come, and people were expecting me to take my old approach of solving the problem by the end of the chapter and getting them back together right away. But I wanted this to show that no matter how much you're in love, when you hurt somebody like that, it's not an easy fix. It never is.
The next morning, after posting this story on the site...my email was FLOODED with everything from praise, to surprise, to anger, to death threats. Nothing too terrible, but it was the biggest response that the story had ever gotten. I was hearing from 'lurkers' who had never written to me before, and people who I thought had stopped reading and dissappeared. It was the most attention that I had ever gotten from anything I had ever written before in my life, and the pressure for the next chapter to be 'damn good' was immense. The site suddenly got a large surge of hits from people looking for an early post of the new chapter (Two weeks was WAY too long to wait) and a mailing list was in desperate need to hold all the requests for 'notice' of anything new. More than anything, they were just anxious for more, and this chapter brought a lot of new faces to the Shack. The next story was going to worry me a LOT!
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"Kiss & Make Up"
Hehehe, actually this story and another were written as a peace offering to the fans for such a heartbreaking cliffhanger for the "New Kid" series. I had never seen anything like it. It was as though I had killed Ryan and Randy off in a boating accident! So I sat down and challenged myself to write two stories in a single night for the first time ever. I posted "New Kid" on Sunday, these two stories were finished by Tuesday. This particular one had an angrier tone to it. It involved a girl, much like "To Be More Than Friends", but it was in reverse. This time she was the enemy, and the story had a completely different feel to it.
I remember being absolutely TERRIFIED of zits in junior high and high school! But I seemed to come out of it okay, and I didn't even really have them that bad, which was a plus!
I remember this kid in my art class name Michael who had the sexiest voice that I have EVER heard! Even to this day! It was awesome, like this hazy, almost smoker's voice, with a very light southern twang to it. He was so cool!
Kelly was actually the name of a girl who had a crush on me in the 8th grade, and left her boyfriend who happened to be a guy I liked at the time. I didn't feel the same way for her though, and I don't think she spoke to me much after that. Hehehehe, if you're out there, sorry Kelly.
Ed (He's the would be love of my life who was the same age as me but looks like a twelve year old) and his girlfriend Michelle actually did go to see "5th Element" with me, and the two of them did make out during the action scenes! Geez, don't hurt my feelings or anything! But honestly though, even though neither one of us admitted it openly, Ed and I basically had a non-sexual relationship. Something I plan to change if I ever get to see him again!
I remember my best friend and love of my life, Mike, having a gorgeous guy for a roommate in college. I also remember being extremely jealous of the way the two of them were so close and it seemed like Mike was drooling over him. I added that jealousy into the story, because it was so easy to remember how painful the whole idea of Mike being gay and loving someone besides me had felt. And at one point, I actually did say, "No more hurting! No more!", and tried to just avoid them both for a while. It didn't work though. It was one of those cobwebs in the old noggin that I was able to clear out with this story.
The note saying, "Meet me at the gas station" was actually given to me by a girl on the playground once. She was two years younger than me, and I was friends with her brother. I didn't go though. I kinda had to be home by or certain time or else.
I had the sex take place on the kitchen floor because for some reason it was....it seemed...okay, I don't remember what I was thinking there. But that's where I put it! So there!
Remembering my first oral experience with a kid named Jason, I just held it in my mouth and sucked on it. I didn't bob up and down on it or anything, just kept it in my mouth and sucked him for all I was worth!
The responses for this story were positive, but few in number. I can understand now that I look back at it. There was just a rushed quality about it, and the characters didn't click as well for me. So I didn't leave much room for a sequel. I think that most people were just waiting for "New Kid 9" and this was just a little distraction from the whole thing. I'm still glad I wrote it though!
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"A Diamond In The Rough"
This was the second story in the "Post New Kid Peace Treaty", and it was started only ten minutes after "Kiss And Make Up". I wasn't quite sure what to say with this story, but I knew I wanted it to have that 'blossoming flower' quality to it. A story that shows how you could love someone on the inside first, and then see the beauty second. Having David turn out to be gorgeous was going to be my way of doing this, but I was so tired by this time that it didn't quite connect the way I wanted it to. Looking back at it now, I can honestly see how tired I was in the words and in the amount of typos littered around. I tried, but I cut corners, pushed too hard, and it's not that it was a bad story so much, just needed a lot more time. I thought about rewriting it one time, but I had too many other ideas going on to worry about that.
David was loosely based on a friend of mine from high school named Brian (Who I also used for "The Boy Next Door"). I met Brian in my art class the summer before my freshman year, and he was just the way he started out in the story, kinda chunky, with braces, chubby cheeks, shaved spiked hair. But he was cool, and funny as hell, so we were good friends. I lost track of him later and didn't really see him again until my senior year. By then, he had lost his 'baby fat', let his hair grow out (it was such a cute light brown/sandy blond silky mass too!), and he had lost a lot of weight. He was so beautiful, and yet he retained that sweet, funny personality that he had before. So he was 'complete' in a way, and that's so cool. We still talked all the time, and I've had many a fantasy about him. :) No big crushes though. Oh, and as a side note...in that same art class where I met Brian, I met another good friend and the three of us hung out a lot that summer. He was actually an acquaintance of Brian's from his junior high, and he introduced me to him for the first time. Who was the 3rd buddy? None other than my best friend and long time love, Mike! I REALLY owe you one Brian! If you're reading this (wouldn't it be cool if you were?) Thanks!!!
The Playboy scenario came from when I was younger, my best friend at the time (about 9 or 10 yrs old) Chris came over to the house and we would look at them. I don't remember there being anything really arousing about them at that time, but I think the fact that we weren't supposed to be looking at them was where the excitement was coming from. It stopped though one day when my dad came home early and caught us. I didn't have time to hide them again, and well...let's just say I didn't do it again. Hehehehe!
The term "Boxing the clown" was actually used by one of the bartenders I worked with that very day, and I had never heard masturbation referred to that way. It struck me as funny, and I just had to use it somewhere in the story.
I thought the fact that the both of them came for the first time, at the same time, was an added extra to give them a better bond with each other. I'm glad it was fun for them, mine really caught me by surprise. :)
As a joke, my friend Seth and I once put a small cup of worms and dirt in a basket of my mom's laundry. Don't ask why, hehehe I was young and stupid (NO, it didn't happen LAST WEEK!). My mom liked to ring my neck!
I have actually noticed that some of the most spectacular and gorgeous kids in all the world are at the O'Hare airport!!! I have never, not once in all the years that I've been 'looking' for them, gone to the airport and not seen a teenage boy who hasn't completely turned my head all the way around. It's unnatural! So having them meet in the airport seemed like the best choice.
I added the part of Steven watching David in the newsstand as a contrast to what he saw in him in the beginning. When you first read the story, he's attracted to David because of his personality, his friendship, and all the treasures that he possessed on the inside. Later on in the airport, he doesn't know who he is, and he's attracted by the beauty and sex appeal on the outside. I did it to show the difference between what goes through someone's mind. Between love and sex.
I like the fact that time and hormones have added an awkwardness to the two teenagers. They're not just the same two kids they were before, they're more self conscious, and their actions mean more than they did before because emotions have been added.
I once actually raced my friend Luis to cum first on a dare in my bedroom. But we weren't facing each other, so I couldn't see anything of his, and I wasn't used to doing it standing up. He beat me...um....to cumming that is! Hehehehe! We never mentioned it again, I didn't really feel anything for him. It was just one of those freaky things I guess.
To send home the beauty on the inside message yet again, I had the two of them kissing each other in complete darkness, where looks didn't matter at all. What mattered was what was going on emotionally between them. I liked the mystery of it, and I think I was really starting to fall asleep at this point, because this is where I was practically passing out on the letter "K".
This story had a lot of deep things that I wanted to get out but couldn't really focus enough to do so. It was TERRIBLY edited, even by MY standards, and I by the time I was finished, I was too tired to even try anything more. Hehehehe. Like I said, it's not like I wasn't into it, but my muse left me by the time it was done, and even though the heart is there, it's not really evident in the writing so much. This is pretty much where my policy of not writing when I'm not in the mood comes from. This story does have a message that I might fit into another story entirely someday, because I think it's important along with some other ones. But as for re-writing this one...nah! :)
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"In A Class By Himself"
Finally!!! The one, the only story out of all the others that even came close to challenging "New Kid In School" for attention! I didn't really start this story knowing that it would have such a loyal following, but for some reason Derrick and Tanner struck a chord with a lot of people and it took of to the number two spot out of all the stories on the site. It was an idea that had been in the back of my mind since "Saying I Do" was written (Jordan was originally going to be a rich kid, but it seemed like a waste of a detail since money never really mattered to the story), and I finally decided to write it one night while still too afraid to start "New Kid 9". So yes...it was basically written as a stalling tactic! Hehehehe. I just really wanted to have a story about two kids finding each other despite certain impossible odds, and this story was born along with several others at that time. One being about different levels of intelligence and different schools (Which later became "Lessons In Love"), and one about the difference in age (Which became "Nothing Wrong With Love"), one about overcoming shyness (which turned into "Summer School" and was taken to a more obvious level in "Perfect Picture"), and a yet to be written interracial story. So this wasn't just the beginning of a new story, this was a whole new formula for putting ideas together.
The name Tanner has always sounded cute to me! The first time I ever saw it was in a teen magazine, and he was the member of a teen pop group out of California called "In Effect". Tanner was one of the hottest boys out of all of them, and the name stuck with me. Another cutie from that same group ALSO had a name that I always associated with beauty....'Ryan'. :)
The entire of idea behind the infatuation behind Tanner on the bus was completely inspired by the way that I got my first kiss when I was SIX! I used that memory to start the story off, and the way Derrick sees Tanner was pretty much the way I saw the first person I ever stole a kiss from...and it was a girl. Her name was Stacy, and she had short blond hair and hazel eyes (I think they were hazel...they were bright brown, hehehehe! It was a long time ago). We were coming back from a field trip to the Museum of Science and Industry, and I remember her just looking so beautiful to me at that moment. And at one point, while she was talking, I moved in and gave her a little peck on the lips. Then she hit me and we laughed about it like it never happened. What do you expect, we were six? It's not like it was going to be a 'Comicality' ending...he didn't exist back then. Hehehehe!
Derrick's feelings matched my own because I too went to school with some kids who were 'well off'. But they weren't as bad as the kids in this story, and they didn't really give me too much grief. I just remember going over to people's houses and seeing all their toys and video games and gadgets and stuff. I was so jealous. I was so desperate at the time I actually saved up for a subscription to Nintendo Power magazine just to feel 'equal' in some way. Hehehehe I didn't even have a Nintendo yet! Weird. So I didn't have it that bad, but I just added some of my feelings into this story about it. Because a lot of those kids had so much, and they just took it for granted.
Just as a note, another person I now remember being really quiet and to himself on the bus, I met Ariel that way. I guess we just happened to have a mutual friend on the bus at the same time and we hit it off. He hung out in the back with us from then on.
Hehehehe, okay, as embarrassing as I am to say it, but I used to do the old 'telepathic message' thing myself a lot in junior high. I would stare at somebody I liked and would just concentrate really hard on trying to make them turn around. I would even whisper 'I love you' under my breath when I was SURE they couldn't hear me! Hehehe, a technique I'm sure to use in more stories to come. That's how bad I was. I'm such a weirdo sometimes! :)
I just want to say that I LOVE the movie Akira!!! My fave Japanamation of all time! (And Ninja Scroll and Wicked City and...) I needed something to give the two boys something in common. So I added this into it and figured that it would act as a 'connection' for Tanner and Derrick to work with when first talking to each other.
Originally, while Tanner was asleep on Derrick's shoulder, I was going to have him drool on him. I thought it would be a funny extra to have Derrick cherish it and stare at the stain all day long to show how silly affections can be from the outside sometimes. But I decided against it because I guess I wasn't in the mood for it at the time. On one of my wacky days it might have happened. But at that particular moment I wanted to keep Tanner as this mystical, flawless, angelic type, and drool seemed to contradict that somehow.
For those of you who didn't catch it...hehehehe, I'll expose one of my little cover-ups. Occasionally, and my fiction writing teacher used to catch me on it all the time, I get lazy and try to cleverly cut some corners here and there. This time, I wasn't sure how to start a decent dialogue between Derrick and Tanner on the bus, and when I couldn't think of one after about five minutes, I cheated and took the easy way out. So I just typed in "We picked up a conversation somehow" and made it up from there. Hehehehe! Originally, I wanted a good first conversation showing how nervous Derrick was and have him babble and stutter his way through it while Tanner tried to figure out what he was trying to say. I also wanted to use the much said, "I'm not rich, my parents are" line that seems to be one of those things that gets passed down from generation to generation. That one comment was supposed to be the one that showed that Tanner wasn't like the others. But since I'm such a slacker, I skipped it. :)
I didn't really have a neighborhood in mind for Derrick to come from in the Chicago area. And I didn't just want to make one up out of nowhere, so I felt it best to just not mention one by name. So if you're ever in the area, don't go looking for it, hehehe it doesn't exist.
Derrick's excitement about getting Tanner's phone number for the first time was a whole new level of friendship it seemed. Contact outside of school, where both boys could be themselves. I liked that. It also reminds me of the first time Sam gave me his phone number in the 7th grade because we were going to watch a track meet at the high school (about four of us). Sam only lived a block away from me, but for some reason having his phone number seemed so much cooler to me. And yes, this is "Arcade Junkie Sam.
The rough and tumble game of basketball just came from the way my friends and I used to play all the time. Hehehe, now that I think about it, we should have walked away with more scrapes, bruises, and broken bones than we did. I wanted to use that to find a meaningful present for Tanner to buy for his buddy. Something a little more expensive than the everyday pack of gum. And something that took some thought, that showed that Tanner cared. Um...by the way....did anybody else notice that Derrick's bruises healed in one short paragraph? Hehehehe I cheated on the details again!
The arcade game in Tanner's house actually came from the TV show "Silver Spoons"! Hahahaha! When I was younger I saw that and thought how cool it would be cool to have an actual game in my room. So I lived that out a bit through Tanner by adding it into the story.
That first long hug on the front lawn was their first sign of true affection for each other, and I wish now that I had lengthened it a bit. It's the first time either one of them had that much physical contact, and the first time they were to even come close to getting that love in return.
Now this is the part that I absolutely hate! Grrr! I must have been in a different frame of mind when I wrote it, or extremely tired, but the first kiss between them seemed rushed to me. The revelation and all (Now you see why I don't re-read my own stuff? Blechhh!) was missing a lot of heart. If I had to do it over again, I'd really stretch this part out more.
"In A Class By Himself" quickly became a favorite to people reading the stories, and I was really surprised by the feedback on this one. It's the first and only story that creates as much interest as a "New Kid" chapter, and even in the wake of chapter 8, it was actually able to hold its own. I started thinking of potential for a sequel right away, and I loved the characters enough to make it easy. This story alone still remains the second most popular series on the site (This was waaaay before "Gone From Daylight" was released, and the now third place winner, "If Only In My Dreams"). I had no idea it would go this far, but I was glad to see it doing well, and the feedback gave me enough confidence to get back to "New Kid" and finish what I started.
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"New Kid In School: Nineth Chapter"
While writing this chapter, I felt an unbelievable pressure like you wouldn't believe to make it DAMN good. By this time, I had heard from every single person that I had ever emailed from the site, everyone on the message board, and a giant group of people who had been lurking since chapter one. If anything grabbed the attention of readers and made them check the site on a regular basis, it was probably this chapter. Everyone was waiting on it, and I tried to put it off for as long as I possibly could for fear of screwing it all up. I was honestly terrified of what would happen if this turned out wrong. I could feel every eye watching, critic's pens dripping with blood, ready to say how unrealistic or worthless my solution to the problem would be. But I wrote it from the heart and didn't change anything from the original plan. I decided to ultimately do what I wanted to do and just have fun with it. I think in the end it worked out well.
I added the line about Randy feeling the pain of knowing he deserved his punishment to show that Ryan, although he's not the main character of the story, is NOT the bad guy. I would never claim that Randy is perfect by any means, and Ryan is simply reacting in a way that ANYONE would react in that situation. Basically, Randy fucked up, and I didn't want to have some whiny character wasting two or three chapters crying "Why is Ryan being so mean to me?" It's life, and every action has a reaction. Way it goes when you take the risk.
Randy's black eye was reminiscent of the one time in grade school that I had a black eye. My GOD!!! I will never forget having to answer the same damn questions over and over again. If one more person had asked me "who kicked my ass?" I swore I was going to pummel them right then and there to show them what an ass kicking's all about!!! :) What really happened? I butted heads with a friend of mine while playing rough and tumble in the park.
Tyler loves Randy with all his heart in this chapter, and does all he can to show him every second of the day. But it's not enough. Every bit of affection he gives is in vain, making poor Tyler a bit of a tragic character as opposed to having him be this untouchable blond angel who can have anything he wants.
The first scene in the lunchroom, where Ryan completely ignores Randy and sits at a table with a different group of people, was added as a bit of an extra 'sting' for Randy who was constantly things to suddenly get worked out. With Ryan interacting with other people and having the girls at the table swoon over him, it gave the impression that maybe he had moved on. Or at least that it would be relatively easy for him to do so if he had to. Randy is not the only person in the world.
After Tyler and Randy shared a sweet moment in the bathroom, short lived as it was, it really opened Randy's eyes to him as a person instead of just some random hottie. After they talk a bit and Randy thinks it over, it was also casting the illusion that Randy had moved on as well. I kind of wanted to add a little bit of distance between them for a while, without having them completely despise each other. However, it's clear that Randy loves Tyler for the wrong reasons. And that he's basically a rebound boyfriend.
Ryan shows up while Tyler and Randy are talking, and it breaks down his seemingly "I don't care" attitude a bit. He hasn't completely forgotten Randy. He's more hurt than angry, and I didn't want him to just become an asshole all of the sudden. Even when Tyler sticks up for Randy, he doesn't understand why. Tyler has yet to find out that they were more than just friends.
While Randy was sitting there on the curb alone, I attempted to demonstrate what I was feeling at the time, and what I still feel a lot of times these days. A simple quote that explains the limbo that we've all spent a lot of time wandering around. "What you want, you can't have. What you can have, you don't want."
I knew from the beginning of the chapter that I wanted Randy and Tyler to have sex. But I had originally planned for Randy to try hard to enjoy it as much, causing conflicts in his own mind as to what he wanted. I wanted to plan a romantic interlude where Tyler went all out to please him, and have it just...not work. But I liked this idea better, and just went with it. So Randy goes back to Tyler's house and just throws himself into a lustful rage. He was angry and vengeful, and despite Randy's 'decent' character, he wanted to use Tyler. The sex was just that...sex. Not love. It was animalistic, and it basically could have been Tyler, or Ryan, or anybody. There was no heart behind it. Even afterwards, it was Tyler who was doing all the cuddling and kissing, not Randy.
This chapter, while still bringing a great deal of interest, got some weird feedback on it. Some people weren't exactly sure how to react to it, or what to say about it. I think everyone expected me to bring them back together already, but I'm glad that I didn't. I did get a lot of emails from people that absolutely HATED the idea of Randy and Tyler having sex, and were worried that I was going to go a different way with the story completely. Or at least keep the two of them broken up for a much longer time. In the long run, I'm somewhat happy with how it went. It relieved some of the pressure of doing a good job and chapter 8 would be easier to follow up in a later chapter. I was anxious to get started on the 10th chapter as soon as this was finished.
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"New Kid In School: Tenth Chapter"
The big Tenth Anniversary chapter! And me with absolutely no idea
what the heck I was going to do to make it special. I was actually
beginning to wish I had held off on the big fight until chapter ten so
it would have more impact. I think if it hadn't been for the 'hype', I
probably would have let Randy and Ryan stay broken up for another
chapter or two. Even when I started writing it, I hated it. And
everything about it. I couldn't believe that the story even made it that
far! But now I was wondering if I would ever be able to do anything new
and have it turn out well. It turned into one of those weird
transitional chapters that I still can't read without cringing.
::shudders::
This chapter starts out with a sex scene between Randy and Tyler,
much to the aggravation of people who complained about how it broke
their hearts in the last chapter. Hehehehe! Maybe I did it out of spite.
:) Anyway, it was toned down and written kind of lazily. Simply because
I wanted there to be something missing. I didn't want people asking,
"Well, why can't Randy just be happy screwing Tyler?" Because of that
small piece of his heart that is only reserved for the man he loves.
Randy's thoughts about losing the only one he ever loved kind of
reflects my thoughts right after high school. When my best friend Mike
went to college, he was only a three and a half hour road trip away, but
it seemed sooo much further. And I honestly began to think that we would
grow apart, that we'd get different friends, and that I had lost him for
good. The great big love of my life...gone. And I thought back to the
other opportunities that I let slip by me, and when I turned 19, I got
really depressed about it. My advice? If you love someone, tell them. If
you think you can't, then at least show them. In every possible way that
you know how. Love isn't something to just throw away.
The fight in the lunchroom, as cheesy and stupid as it was,
hehehehe, DID actually have a purpose. It was to show that even beyond
the love, beyond the sex, and all the lovey dovey romantic embraces
between Ryan and Randy, there was still something more. They still CARED
about each other, and that's what made the difference. When Ryan steps
in, he isn't necessarily saying that all is forgiven in that one
instant, but he can't stand to see Randy get hurt either.
Detention was the only way that I could get the two of them talking
again in a civillized manner. I wanted to make it a 'difficult'
conversation. No 'easy fixes', no sudden 'I love you's'...just the
beginning of a reconcilliation. And naturally Ryan is going to ask how
far his ex boyfriend went with Tyler. It had to be bugging him. But I
allowed them to share a few giggles before shutting off their
communication by use of the room mnitor. Later, I added a spark of hope
by having Ryan say "We'll get together later. I promise." At least
that's a start.
Once again, Randy decides that Ryan is what he wants, and thinks
it's going to be an easy fix telling Tyler how he feels. And once again,
he's not so lucky. Of COURSE Tyler is going to be hurt. I should have
extended that scene a LOT longer than I did. I changed it a bit to have
the chapter come out on time, to make it where Tyler just logically
figured the connecton between Ryan and Randy from the fight. (Nevermind
that Tyler had just found out that his old best friend Ryan is gay and
didn't seem to think too much of it! Hehehehe!) I had originally planned
for Randy to come over and actually have to face Tyler. To actually have
to say the words and break his heart on a whole other level. The same
sweet hug at the end of their conversation stayed the same but I wish I
had kept the original build up to it.
While running over to Ryan's house, I shocked the hell out of a lot
of people by announcing that Randy's lovely boy toy had been in an
accident! Dun dun dun! Hehehe! Something straight out of Melrose Place.
I think overall, this would let Randy realize what he lost, and how deep
his love for Ryan went. It was a nasty cliffhanger that got PLENTY of
responses from readers. :)
Even though I don't like this chapter too much, I still think it was
a rather important one to the series. It set up a lot of plot twists
that carried on through the next 8 or 9 chapters, including Tyler's
addition to the "Arcade Junkie" series. (A surprise that nobody was
expecting) It was a way for a bunch of new story ideas to pop up, and I
guess I can say I'm glad I did it. Lord knows I couldn't have Ryan and
Randy be all kisses and hugs forever. And I certainly couldn't have them
break up every few chapters. So unless I could find out a logical way
for Ryan to suddenly get PREGNANT, I was going to need some new story
plots and fast. Hehehehe! What's funny is that a lot of people actually
thought that I had basically killed Ryan off. It took a lot of
convincing to let them know that it wasn't really my plan.
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